Infidelity

It appears to be an epidemic lately and it is affecting Christians and non-Christians alike.

What does this say about us(Christians)...what does it say about the church? and what does it say to those who are not in the church when they see this happening?

When my husband and I were in year 12 of our marriage let's just say the cracks of our life, our marriage became wider and wider and we began the journey to wholeness individually and together as husband and wife. Here is the thing...We attended Church, We knew the Word, We LOVED THE LORD but yet we are human and were walking in sin every single day but it came to a point that we knew we needed help. We had actually cried out early on in our marriage to our pastor and he looked at us after hearing our "issues" and said "on a scale of 1 - 10 you guys are about a 6 or 7 and you will be fine." WHAT?? EXCUSE ME?? There was no guidance, no true help so we continued until life became unbearable and years later, God connected us to a LifeCoach. We had no idea what we were in for... NONE but let me tell you this....She loved us, she taught us and she pointed us to God. She helped us to dig deep (I MEAN DEEP!!!) She did not call herself a counselor and we could not call her in the midst of ANY storm to settle things because that was Gods job. She said we had all of the answers within and together with the Holy Spirit and with each other all things would be revealed. It has truly been a journey and honestly what I am going to say is going to shock some and maybe even step on some toes. For that I am sorry....I asked the Lord to guide my words today and checked my motive...But this thing called infidelity is so rampant in Gods people right now that I just have to ask....WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH IT? What is missing in so many, that they CHOOSE to "look elsewhere?" I will tell you..... it's FEAR of ....Pain...Truth.... Selfishness....taking off their masks. It is rooted in their pasts, abandonment issues, fear of rejection~ some deal with this on a daily basis at home or work. Am I excusing this behavior? Absolutely NOT! Am I sharing a different perspective...Yes.

How then,can we help these people who are struggling with these issues? We Love them. We don't judge them. (not our job) We speak the truth in love to them. We walk with them daily. We point them to Jesus and we pray for them. We listen and we love. If they ask ~ we can help them to be accountable. When they are humble, broken and willing & looking within they will honestly tell you they knew it was wrong and I have seen it & experienced it ...This humility almost always allows God to heal their wounds and restores them to Himself. It purifies them to wholeness, sealing the cracks in their hearts & minds. He walks them through the pains of their childhood that have caused them to get to this point. He breaks off the generational curses so that they can walk as an Oak of righteousness and will no longer be bound to the sins of the father (per se.)

You know I might add "infidelity" can come in the form of work, sports, ministry,
computer etc. It's not always found in the form of someone elses arms or mind.

So many times when this situation occurs, the person who has been "cheated on" gets all the support and RIGHTFULLY SO, THEY NEED IT! but here me on this one....It takes two people to get to this point. Most of the time (seriously MOST) the person who has put their attention, affection, or time elsewhere did not SET OUT to do this and needs help and support just as much as the other one. These people are crying out and don't really even have any idea how quickly things can escalate and before they know it they are caught in the middle of the biggest trap of the enemy (a trap I might add, that is not just for them but also for their children if they have them)but if they had been honest with themselves and/or their spouse on the very first thought, or look or whatever it was that took them down that wrong path things could be soo different but the world inundates them saying "it's ok" and unfortunately MOST (not all) churches don't even "go there" or if they do it's clearly just in judgement form stating the facts..."It just wrong," Not wanting to get to the root of the why's.

Reforming and Restoring is the heart of our Father and His son...Our Saviour, He also gave us the Holy Spirit who will lead us into all truth when we let Him (& not our feelings) lead and guide us. He looks at our hearts and sees the wounds and longs to heal them. He disciplines those He loves and this issue definately calls for discipline but when that person is humbled and willing & allows or embraces the Lords discipline, it brings about a true Love of the Father that otherwise would have been lost. Lost not only to them, but to future generations as well.

I know there are those that choose to stay living in this sin and the pain and scars it gives to those who are left behind to pick up the pieces and wonder daily, how or why this happened, my heart goes out to each and everyone and especially the children who clearly have no idea but are left in a situation of divorce or separation. Some suffer with living then in a home of bittness, unforgiveness and pain & IF the person doesn't know the Lord or can't find that place of forgiveness, it is even worse. I was a child of this epidemic called infidelity and know the devastation and the havoc that it causes. I grew up and did the same thing, but because of Gods grace and the hard work that He so graciously allowed me to do, the strength and love He has provided me with has given me a compassion for all involved

For Today...April 28, 2009

Outside my window... cooled off ALOT and cloudy

I am thinking... how rampant the enemy is trying to destroy sooo many marriages right now


I am thankful for... authentic relationships and that I serve a Heavenly Father who can restore and redeem every single one of us if we will let HIM

From the kitchen... I am making Chicken and rice soup and I laugh because it has been so warm but today there is a chill in the air....A GREAT day for some soup, maybe the last pot of the season

I am wearing...pj bottoms and a hoodie

I am reading... Misplacing God and finding Him again, 1 Samuel and Psalms

I am hoping... that my friends and their marraiges, their hearts and lives can be healed.

I am praying... for each and everyone of them

Around the house... working diligently so that I can participate in the neighborhood garage sale this weekend

One of my favorite things... Oh how my children make me laugh!

A few plans for the rest of the week... lunch with a mentor tomorrow, continuing to clean out rooms, closets, etc and just hearing God so that I can love, encourage and be there for the women I love that are hurting right now.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...



FRIENDSHIPS.....TREASURE THEM

I have found a new blog that I Love, and who knows maybe a new friend as well :)
Her name is SarahMae and on Mondays she always has a post to motivate her readers and encourages us to do the same so here we go. It is Spring time ~ The season of Hope, All things are NEW, flowers blooming, trees budding, and the birds are singing. God gives us seasons in our lives as well. It's a good thing because He knew that we couldn't go on and on doing or feeling the same thing/way all the time.
He gave us variety in many forms and in our lives He gave us seasons....His timing is always right on (ok, maybe for us we might think He could hurry up sometimes but...) for me this season is all about Listening and truly seeing the fabric of His Will woven into my daily life and relationships and amazed and how He puts people together to accomplish that Will. Life is a Dance and sometimes the steps are different as well as the partners. But for me, everyday If I ALLOW HIM to, He will use me to help, love or encourage someone and He will Use that particular person or blog to encourage me IN HIM. I love it! and I LOVE HIM.

For other motivational posts go to
http://likeawarmcupofcoffee.blogspot.com

Monday ~ Spaghetti, salad and chiabatta rolls
Tuesday ~Chicken and rice soup, cornbread
Wednesday ~ Grilled chicken salad
Thursday ~ Tacos, beans and rice
Friday ~ preparing for garage sale...NOT COOKING :p

My Handyman

This past weekend we had our family meeting and was preparing for the week and just planning the menu and felt the Lord prompt me in doing a week of "Crockpot" dinners. Ok~ I thought. This was a new idea and since I had soo much to do around the house it sounded perfect but what I didn't know and the Lord DID has just been such a sweet kiss it seems from Him to me. You see, this week we have been Hit or some would agree ATTACKED by the enemy. Let me explain....

Tuesday afterschool when I picked up Jantzen up from school he said he wasn't feeling well and by the evening he was running a fever. When Jantz is sick he likes me to be right by his side (literally) and usually doesn't sleep real well. So we got up the next morning and stuck some cinnamon rolls into the oven and 20 min. later they were still cold and the oven wasn't working GRRR!!! So as I am going throughout the day and preparing my crockpot dinner It struck me.....The Lord KNEW that we would not have an oven for a few days this week and spoke to me to do crockpot dinners everyday!!! Wow! How exciting it is to know that he cares so much even down to the details of dinners for our week to let me HEAR HIM. We had some really warm days this week and actually had to turn on the air conditioner! But the second night it didn't seem to be cool in the house and no one really slept well because it was so warm so by Friday with Jantzen still sick I really needed to get out of the house and we spent the day with my mom in Tulsa. Went to see "the Soloist" (good movie) and had lunch and when we got home it was 77 degrees inside!! HOly cow! We were going out to spend the evening with our friends the Taulmans :) for the first Friday Fellowship so Brian didn't have time to fix it right away. We had such a wonderful time and met a new family and saw some old friends we hadn't seen in years and my jaws were SORE from laughing sooooo much! It was just AWESOME how the Lord was there and I truly can't wait to see the fruit from these new and growing friendships the He TRULY has blessed Brian and I with. We had intended to leave early so that he could get to fixing the a/c but just had too much fun to leave so when we got home he began to tackle the problem and of course He conquered it and we woke up to a cool home on Sat.

As I sat in my quiet time this morning I was just so humbled at how the Lord blessed me this week and to see how much he cares for us even in the minute details of our lives! I thank God that he has given me a husband who can do soooo many things around the house that literally saved us ALOT of money had we needed to call someone to fix the oven or fix the a/c but also how he has grown spiritually as well. I am a blessed woman and humbled to the core!

Self Entitlement

Flip Flops Really Lord?

I have never blogged about this because honestly I don't believe it! I was diagnosed with Lupus almost 2 Years ago. I have been through year and years of testing and on the last stint in the hospital (10 days worth) I had EVERY test possible known to woman. SERIOUSLY! Well, when I left the hospital guess what?! I still didn't know why I was there OR what was WRONG with me??? But I did know that I had been on some SERIOUS pain killers for all that time and the withdraws were about enough to get me, OMG. Well, the only one who continued to seek answers was my primary care Dr. and he had me come in for more blood work....EXCUSE ME, HOW COULD THERE BE MORE??? I literally had a BIBLE SIZE NOTEBOOK of tests of any kind you can imagine and more doctors than any person should have but ok I'll come in to do more work. He told me at that point after receiving the results that he "thought" I might have Lupus and referred me to a Rheumatologist. Ok, so we see her for less than a year and she put me on Prednisone and other medication to control the pain and inflamation but after gaining 40 lbs on the prednisone and honestly NOT seeing any real change of my symptoms we decided to just ask the Lord what He would have for us to do. We heard Him directing us to a Naturopath Chiropractor that we had worked with over the years and decided that I would stop taking the Prednisone and stop seeing the Rheumatologist completely and go ONLY to our precious Little Dr. T. (He is the chiropractor) Well, Dr T. immediately changed my diet, put me on a cleanse and I began to see & feel immediate changes within my body. The changes in diet have proven to be very effective but he also explains that certain things in our body are also due to our emotions, or toxins. (hello hair products, color, spray, you name it I was using, or applying it) One of the hardest things for me has been that He says that I need to wear SHOES WITH INSERTS in them to give me the extra support. This means NO FLIP FLOPS! OK, well this in fine in winter but HELLO-----not in the spring/summer! :(

I am really seeing how much I ~ dare I say it....REBEL! When we feel better we tend to not always finish out the antibiotic, or to continue doing what we know is good for us etc. When I feel better I even will go off of my diet until woops I literally feel the inflammation inside my body! Then how quickly the Lord in His grace AGAIN reminds me to OBEY!!! But the other day I went to Dr T. (thank goodness I am only going every other week now) and He pulled my flip flops off and said "Now, Loren aren't you suppose to wear SHOES all the time?" Why yes, Dr T. I am but you know it's spring and I LOVE MY FLIPFLOPS! Well, he says How do you feel when you where them all the time? HMMMM, If I am honest, not really that good. So I leave there and head to Sams to get my 5 cases of water for the week and the Lord clearly speaks to me.....(why at the store, or Sams is it that we can hear Him so clearly I'll never know) Loren, "To obey is better than sacrifice" I am sorry Father I know you want what is best for me and I am not obeying you forgive me for wanting to look cute and wear flipflops! To show off my pedicured feet. To not look or feel like a DWEEB in the tennis shoes with socks and capris UGH! I hate it Lord but I AM SORRY!
I know my daughter I know! Again His Love and Forgiveness washes all over me. Father,.... ? Yes.... Please show me where else I am rebelling....Til the ground Lord and make me like YOU, renew in me a steadfast Spirit, an undivided Heart! Help me to Obey. "I am with you ALWAYS" "MY STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS."
Thankyou Abba, Thankyou.

Outside my window... For now it is a bit cloudy with a slight chill but warming

I am thinking... about lunch with my friend asking God to heal her wounds and brokenness

I am thankful for... My family! My step-parents who at times in my life we didn't get along but I see now how God has used them for my good. I am thankful for the gift of Forgiveness.

From the kitchen... Its Crockpot week! Today Chicken and Rice

I am wearing... still in jammies for just a bit longer :)

I am reading... Jesus LifeCoach and 1 Samuel

I am hoping... to get all the closets switched out this week

I am creating...Jantzens book for school (helping)

I am praying...continuing prayer for Friends and their marriages

Around the house... It's Spring so that means .....cleaning, organizing, working in the yard!

One of my favorite things... sitting outside with the kids and swinging on the porch swing

A few plans for the rest of the week... lunch with Michelle, the landscape guy coming to rescue our front flowerbeds! and Friday with MOM :)

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you..

Found this litl guy nabbing our dog food late last night :)

PAY IT FORWARD

My friend Nicole introduced me to yet another awesome idea! She has created a "Pay it forward" blogging chain. The first 5 people to comment on her blog will receive a gift from her over the course of the next year but in order to be one of the lucky recipients they too had to do the same ....Pay It forward. Well, I love the Pay It Forward Idea and would like to do the same thing!

Soooo, The first five people who leave me a comment on THIS POST will receive something from me during this next year! but PLEASE if you decide to join in on the fun PROMISE to follow through with your commmitment to PAY IT FORWARD!

I look "forward" to seeing how God arranges all of this and the fun way He will bring this to pass!

Let the JOY of blessing others and paying it forward BEGIN!

Menu plan for McGhees this week:

CROCKPOT!!!!

I love the first full week of sun and warm weather and here it is!! Last night, I was sharing a memory of my youth with Jantzen...My dad had a rule that I could not go barefoot until the temperature gauge hit 80*. Funny isn't it, anyway.... Break out the short sleeves, flip flops, spring clean and change out closets so since we have 80 degree days coming this week I want to have alot of time to get things done or have time for friends, family and my yard this week sooo...It's CROCKPOT WEEK:

MONDAY ~ roast, potato, and carrots

TUESDAY ~ chicken and rice

WEDNESDAY ~ asian pork chops new recipe from Cindy Beall

THURSDAY ~ dripped beef sandwiches

FRIDAY ~ pork tips and noodles

What Makes A House A HOME?

This is my first BLOG contest to enter and what a FUN way to begin....

Hmmmm, What does make a house a HOME??

For me.....

#1 Our Heavenly Father....Our Chief Cornerstone....Our Foundation



#2 COFFEE ~

My husband is a coffee FREAK! He IS also GADGET GUY and had to have this particular coffee pot...the ONLY one that heats the coffee to the exact temperature that coffee SHOULD be brewed at. So he saved up for this coffee pot and every Tuesday he goes to a coffee house in Tulsa called DOUBLESHOT and purchases a pound a fresh roasted beans! He also purchased the grinder that is recommended so that he can get the same flavor that he does at Doubleshot. We all drink coffee in the morning and each have our own "special" coffee cup and way we like it. Brian makes us each a cup and brings it to us before he leaves for the day....we appreciate it soo much!



#3 Our Fireplace ~ We LOVE a woodburning fireplace. As soon as there is the SLIGHTEST chill in the fall air we are begging to "have a fire." We had our friend and architect come over when we were building our house and draw our fireplace for the mason, He did an amazing job! Then we were blessed with this wooden beam as the mantle from him. In Oklahoma, we have really cold winters and when we had the ice storm in 08' This was our saving grace because we had NO electricty for 7 days! We had the fire going the whole time, we gathered here, played games, talked, prayed, as the fire crackled and the peace and warmth allowed us to truly appreciate all of Gods blessings in spite of the circumstances.




#4 Our living room ~ This is where you will find us most of the time, we have our family meetings here, we read together, watch our favorite shows and movies...we laugh, we cry and yes we chat to each other on Facebook with our laptops on each of our laps. No we don't have 4 so we take turns :) We hear each others hearts, we worship the Lord together in this room and watch His hand on each one of us as He teaches us in His Word the plans that He has for us. This is also where you will find us rocking and playing with our new precious grandaughter Rylee Nicole. On occasion you may find us with the music cranked up singing and dancing a jig!





#5 ~ Our conversation Nook....

This is One of my most favorite places to be. This is where you will find my husband and I on most every Saturday morning and in the evening after he has had a long day at work or maybe a friend and I on any given afternoon before school is out sharing our hearts with one another. Some days the windows will be open letting in the warm Spring air or on other days you will feel the warmth of the fireplace and the wonderful aroma of coffee brewing but whatever the atmosphere it is always a place to sit and share.



#6 Prayer closet ~ When my husband and I found the Lord in 1992 I found yet another love..."prayer warrior." Spending time in the Lords presence has been so many things....a safe haven, a battleground pleading for lives of loved ones, friends, family members or marriages that are broken, and some times just a quiet place to be still and know.
No matter where we have lived I have a prayer closet and no matter where I go He is with me!



#7 Our pets ~ Tyson is our "Schnorkie" a schnauzer-yorkie. He was our Christmas puppy in 08. We also have 3 cats who have been with us for a long time. Each has his own story. Pongo, came on a rainy fall day just a TINY kitten meowing down the street crying out to be rescued. He had his sister by his side so we took them both in. We named her Perdy but a few yrs later a teenager accidently hit and took our precious Perdy. Pongo was really mourning the loss of his sister as were we so we began to pray and ask the Lord for another kitty who was as sweet and fun as Perdy.
We were pretty specific in our requests and even about the day we would find her. On our 10th anniversary we went away for the weekend and the day we were returning to pick up the kids, we had told them that we would get our new kitty. We set out not knowing how when or where we would find her. But we went to Petsmart in Tulsa to look and shared with an employee what we were looking for. One requirement was that she would be free! Well they didn't have any kitties that fit our description but the lady said "Come back here with me and let me show you someone" We went back and in this cage was a Huge kitten (actually 1 yr old) and as they let her out she immediately rolled over to play. She had been brought there by her owner to be de-clawed and spayed and they never picked her up so she had been living there. I asked "how much" they would want for her and she looked at us and said "If you would just give her a good home she is FREE" I asked for a moment with my husband and both of us KNEW at that very moment that not only had God brought us everything we had asked for but she was spayed, declawed and HELLO....FREE!! We picked up our kids and told them how the Lord Heard our prayers and answered us with more than we asked for! Then we got Cooper. He thinks he is a dog! He is the friendliest cat in the neighborhood and loves to gives head butt kisses!




#8 ~ Trampoline

We love our trampoline and it serves many purposes. Exercise for our kids or the many kids in our neighborhood. We also lay on it together as a family on summer nights to look at the stars, or just to talk while we listen to the musical symphony of frogs, locusts, or even the far off (I hope) coyotes that live in the canyon behind our house.



#9 ~ Kids!!! Lots and Lots of Kids! Any age will do. We love to have children here playing, laughing, running around crazy or being still and watching a movie. Playing a loud game of Nertz and eating all that we have in our pantry. Popping popcorn or making brownies and fighting over who gets to lick the bowl and spoon. They fill our hearts with joy and laughter. My husband always teases me...."He says, Honey you always said you wanted to have the house where all the kids in the neighborhood hung out" Well... You got your wish!


Last but most important to me that makes a house a home is LOVE, ALOT of understanding, compassion and forgiveness and a whole lot of teamwork! To me, our home is a training ground for life. We learn to love and appreciate one another, to respect each other and to help one another in this world and to remind ourselves this is a temporary place...Our real home is filled with streets of gold, a mansion that is being prepared even now. A place where we will have all the time we want to sit at His feet, to ask all the questions that we have been saving and to meet all the people that we read about and want to know!! Abraham, Esther and Paul to name a
few! Until then, this dwelling that the Lord has blessed us with is....Our home.