He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20
I am a daughter of the King. I have the gift of Faith. I always have, and truly I know and understand it is a gift. I grow in my Faith every day but the Lord is the Author and Finisher of it. The Word says;
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Today and everyday we must fix our eyes on Jesus....This is the only way I survived this day. Today my dad had an appt. for an MRI of his brain. We were told they expected to find nothing and that this was a "routine" thing before they began radiation. We were on the road by 6:30am and at Mayo by 7. One thing I noticed at the Mayo clinic is the atmosphere. Sooo many sick people yet the atmosphere is unlike a Hospital...where you can literally feel the heaviness. But at the Mayo, as I looked into the eyes of people... some sick, some not, I see determination, hope and in others although you can tell they are very sick they still smile. As we went onto the radiation appt. where we thought we were going to be receiving the treatment schedule, we were greeted by the physicians assistant and she informed us she had the MRI results and this would prove to be where everything we thought, believed, and/or even hoped changed. We were told that my dads cancer is now at a Stage 4, it has spread into his brain and that is where they would now be focusing on for the radiation. This Dr. explained to us that it is too toxic to do radiation on both the chest tumor and now his brain. My dad was very upset, understandably so. He wants his chest tumor to be taken care of first and foremost and feels if left untreated for another 3 weeks(length of brain radiation) that it will continue to grow and spread and this also leaves his continual cough that is getting worse with each day. He doesn't sleep well bc of this cough and he is soooo conscious of it that while talking on the phone to some people he will continue to push the mute button so "they are not bothered" My dad is precious and even apologized to my stepmom and I for "putting" us through this. Ok, honestly this broke my heart ....but this is my dad. He would protect me and our family at his expense for anything.
I would just like to take this opportunity and thank each of you for your encouraging words, your prayers and thoughts during this time for my dad and myself.
My dad has always been an extremely private man and has opened up a Facebook to be in touch with my brother and I and other family members and friends. He has used this as an outlet to share his feelings and for those of you who know about the "Notes" option, he has written a couple and this is one I would like to share and let you see into the heart of the man you are praying for: I covet each prayer and see how his knowledge of sooo many praying for Him is literally carrying him through the hardest thing in his life. Thankyou friends I love and appreciate you all and am continually interceding myself. I know that my being here was ordered and I am equipped for Such a Time as this!
Friday, June 19, 2009 at 11:56pm
This week I found out that the mass in my chest is malignant. Honestly, I wasn’t too surprised. As I said before, I felt like every doctor I talked to acted as if the growth was malignant. Some wouldn’t look me in the eyes and others had a tone in their voice that intimated there was no way it was benign. Although this week’s news was not good, I feel better just knowing what I was dealing with.
Now the question is: “What, if anything, can the doctors and medicine do about it?” Along those lines, I saw a cardio-thoracic surgeon today and he said he could not surgically remove the growth in its current state. He did have a bit of good news. He said that if chemotherapy and radiation are successful and if they reduce the mass; he will take another look at the surgical option – maybe 10 – 16 weeks from now.
Then, this coming Monday, I have a consultation with an oncologist who should cover the various treatment options, including chemotherapy, radiation, and others that may be available
In today’s world, where science seems to be gaining a stronger hold on our lives and where it is exposing some previous beliefs as falsities, I am uncomfortable putting my total dependence upon the doctors and medicine. If they were all I had. I would be very concerned.
There are many things that happen in this world I cannot explain. Some are miracles and some follow a more rationale path. I have seen both be strongly influenced by prayer. What has surprised and humbled me with my disease is the number of people who request to be intercessors or who want to ask their congregation or others to provide intercessory prayers.
I never thought much about intercessory prayer. Oh, when I was young and went to church, there was always a point in the service where the priest or preacher would go over a list of names of people who were sick or who needed some help in their lives. I would join the rest of the congregation in taking a few moments to think of them and asked God to help them. That was usually the end of it for me.
And there were times when people I loved or admired got sick and I wanted God to make them OK. I’d become an intercessor (back then, I didn’t know the meaning of the term) and asked God to heal them or when I really cared for them, I’d ask God to give me their disease and let them be whole. Today, when I think of the arrogance of that mentality, I can only smile. Looking back at what I was requesting, Garth Brooks’ song: “Thank God for unanswered prayers” comes to mind.
Now that I have this problem, intercessory prayer has a different meaning for me. I want all of the help I can get and I welcome every person or group who has expressed an interest in interceding. I have been very humbled by the number of people who have shown a genuine interest in including me in their prayers. I am surprised because I thought most people had more important things to do.
I am most humbled by the people who are involved. I list a few of them here (without names). There are some people in this list that I think are really gifted at intercession. I’ve seen them work. They have a passion for the needs of others and they have the ability to take those needs to God in a meaningful way.
• First, there is my daughter and my son-in-law. If I were to define a Christian, I would hold them up as examples. I’ve seen their prayers control the weather on a Halloween night and I have seen them intercede with prayer in peoples’ lives and make a huge difference.
• I work with a woman who I consider to be a “black belt” intercessor. I definitely want her on my side. She is one who has a big heart and a passion for the needs of others.
• Then there is my wife’s family. This family is the product of ten off-spring of a small-town Lutheran minister and all of their off-spring - probably over 300 strong. The thing I love about this group is the sense of “family” that they have. They constantly communicate and help one another – no matter where they live. You can tell how much they care about one another. When I first learned about my illness, the word went out to the entire family and we started receiving calls from all over the country. They are among the black-belt group too.
• I was very humbled to learn about three others who are interceding. First, I learned that the grandfather of a co-worker was including me in his prayers. He (the grandfather) is 95 and a former preacher. He’s brought about a number of miracles in his life. And then there are the two young daughters of our Chief Legal Counsel. I’ve never met the girls, but I think God really listens to children.
• The other day, I learned that a co-worker told his parents about my needs and they interceded. His parents live in Jerusalem and they took my name and health problem to the Western Wall. That’s powerful stuff!
• I heard from many of my high school classmates – almost as soon as I learned I had the mass. They all asked to intercede and one high school friend is asking his church congregation to intercede. They are 2000 strong.
• While I’m not a Mormon, one of my brother-in-laws lives in Provo and took my name to the temple in Salt Lake City. That’s as big as the Western Wall. His twin brother is interceding too. I also have a few Mormon friends in Jacksonville and they are involved.
This amazes me! I am a small-town boy from Southwest Missouri (pronounced “mi zur eh”) and I have worked in the background most of my life. I am awed by the fact that this many people are willing to help. I thank each and everyone who has or will intercede.
While I want to beat this thing, I know I cannot do it on my own. The doctors, the advances in medicine, and all of the intercessors are my best chance.
I have continually surrendered my fears, my what-ifs, and my anger to the Lord. I trust He is in Control and His timing is Perfect. I am asking that I decrease and He increase in me so that His Peace that He promises will flow from me to my dad. My faith will not be shaken.....No matter what the Dr's say! Bless each of you for interceding! Here is my precious daddy
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