Saturday, February 13, 2010

Giving advice

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For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Mathew 7:2

As I sat in bible study this week I was taken aback at how some people explain and/or Judge others for their actions. And might I add here that MY key word here is ACTIONS...... Let me explain.

We have discussion time in our small groups (about 10-12 women) before we view the video to go over the weeks prior homework. I do not attend this church nor do I know anyone really to speak of and I love going because I love to study the Word and meet new people. Honestly ~ THIS IS COMPLETELY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE but I truly feel the Lord has led me here and I am sooo blessed. It is a very large group of women ~( 200+) and we are all placed in small groups according to how they feel they are led to put them together. This year I happen to be in a group of women who are very mature in the Lord and it also happens that more than half of them have all served alongside their husbands as pastors or in some form of clergy in the church (for 20+ yrs). So I must admit that I probably expect a bit more out of these women in Wisdom, Understanding as well as compassion for the people and definately in Knowledge.

So with all that said we have a woman in bible study who is from another nationality and a brand new Christian. To hear her explain her Salvation and relationship will bring you to tears! It is simply beautiful. Needless to say, she hangs on every word of what is said in Bible study and one of the eldest woman was explaining sin and its consequences to all of us in the group. Here is her explanation in part.

"This is what I tell young people when explaining consequences ~ If you sleep with someone out of wedlock then you must know that that child is your consequence."

Ok, I have to speak up hear as I did in the group of women.

"UMM, Excuse me~ I have to address this because I am not a consequence. I've never been a consequence. I do not agree with nor do I condone premarital sex. My parents slept together before they were married yes, they made the decision SO THAT they could be married and knew this was the only way they would be allowed to be married at their young age. (18) Can you say Young Love?
I also know of a young girl in my daughters school who has made this decision to sleep with someone before being married and is now a young single mom. My daughter said to me "MOM, this is so sad, she could have gotten a scholarship to anywhere she wanted but that baby screwed everything up for her!" I promptly responded and said "NO, honey that baby didn't screw her life up ~ having sex before she was married did." My daughter looked at me with her mouth ready to say something and just said "OH, you are right."

You see, it was the act that was wrong ~ NOT the child. When I was 13 my mother told me the truth of their decision to sleep with one another before being married. She shared that with me wanting me to know how much they loved one another even though at this age in my life they had divorced. I did not receive this news in this light. I felt horrible and was sad. It took me a while to see this in a different light. I also struggled with it until the Lord showed me

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well
Psalm 139:13-14

along with

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
Jeremiah 1:5


I ask of you to search your hearts and to those who are Christians .....Please watch how you share your OPINIONS, your JUDGEMENTS or your ADVICE. My parents lived with many consequences for their action. The action was the ACT itself. The consequences were too many to list and I am sure if you sat down with the numerous Single parents out there and the young teen mothers who are living with their young babies. They would tell you their baby is NOT a consequence but living daily and having your life change, your future change ~ because of your choice to have premarital sex will have numerous consequences and life proves to be very difficult. But I also know that even though that choice is made many also choose to seek forgiveness....they repent and turn away from those ways and live a life worthy of Christ. They lead their children to know and love the Lord and teach them of their wrong choices.

I share this to encourage myself and others NOT to JUDGE because sometimes even a well meaning word of advice can bring condemnation instead of bringing life. It is not up to us to judge peoples choices but to love them in spite of them.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
John 8:6-8