Got the phone call from Dad and I will be honest ~ I was devastated. This is not at all what any of us wanted to hear. I was truly believing and hoping for a good report but you know what. It. didn't. happen. I hate it that Dad had to hear the hurt in my voice because every time I have talked with him ~ He has been the one to encourage whomever he is talking with. I wish I could have been stronger for him and encourage him but the little girl in me who wants her daddy to be ok came out.
I think it is one thing for people who have cancer or any disease for that matter to be strong and deal with all that the disease brings ~ sickness, treatments, frustration for this coming into your life and not knowing what or how it will affect your life from this day forward but they should NOT have to be the ones to uplift or encourage others ~ WE SHOULD BE THE ENCOURAGING ONES!!!
I have to thank the Lord for this day because HE knew this day would come and he gave me first HIS Word to encourage me then HE arranged for my DH to return today before I received this news and then shortly afterward my sweet daughter and grandaughter arrived. Grandchildren are just the best medicine aren't they!
I spent some time with the LORD and HE calmed my fears, washed over me with love and gave me hope and much needed Peace during this precious time. While I don't know what will happen in the days ahead I do know this....When I asked my dad what I could do he simply said this "Just keep up your prayers"
and for all of you who sent my dad a card and are praying THANKYOU I know he has some of these taped to his mirror in his bathroom and some are by his bed. He said it has meant soo very much to him and touched him deeply. If anyone didn't get his address the last time and would like to send him a card please let me know and I will give you his address.
The Lord is moving, drawing my Dad close to HIM and I know there are wayyyy to many prayers going up for all of this to be for nothing! So thankyou for storming the Heavens and making the enemy mad! Now, here is the note from my dad that he posted today
Today at 3:58pm
I went into the Mayo Clinic yesterday afternoon for a CT Scan on my abdomen and torso. These were going to be the first views into the results since the radiation treatments and chemotherapy treatments began several months ago.
This morning I saw my doctor to go over the results. I must say that I hoped for better results.
My previous CT Scan took place on June 5, 2009 and it was used as a comparison to this one. On a positive note, the report noted that there is a marked improvement in the pulmonary embolism – but that is about the only bit of good news in the report.
The main tumor has not changed much – even with all the treatments. It is approximately the same size that it was. In addition to the main tumor, the doctor also said that there were some small growths on my liver. They also noticed an enlarged lymph node near my pancreas and other indications of metastasis.
Overall, as I said earlier, this was not a very good report. That said, I am where I am.
I discussed with my doctor what we can do next and she recommended more chemotherapy treatments. So, beginning Monday, I will start another round. According to my doctor, I will undergo six new treatments to try to ward off the latest growths.
I’ve talked to all of my family members about the test findings and everyone is understandably upset. Since today is the first day that we got the initial news, it will take everyone a little while to process it. The thing is that I think everyone jumped to the conclusion that I am almost dead – and the truth is that I’m not that much different than I was yesterday. We received some new news, but I am essentially the same as I was yesterday.
For me, I don’t feel much different than I did yesterday. I still don’t have any pain nor do I have the symptoms the doctors keep asking me about. I suspect that as this disease progresses, I will have more of the symptoms, but I don’ have them today. While the news about the new growths is scary and alarming, I don’t want to dwell on those things that I cannot do anything about. The treatment of the disease is in my doctors’ hands and God’s hands. I have some things I can help with, but dealing with the treatments is out of my hands.
For my part, I will do what I can to help through diet, exercise, prayer, and attitude. At this time, that’s about all I can affect.
So, I will begin another round of chemotherapy treatments on Monday and we will see where we go from here.
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