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Thursday, April 23, 2009

Self Entitlement

Flip Flops Really Lord?

I have never blogged about this because honestly I don't believe it! I was diagnosed with Lupus almost 2 Years ago. I have been through year and years of testing and on the last stint in the hospital (10 days worth) I had EVERY test possible known to woman. SERIOUSLY! Well, when I left the hospital guess what?! I still didn't know why I was there OR what was WRONG with me??? But I did know that I had been on some SERIOUS pain killers for all that time and the withdraws were about enough to get me, OMG. Well, the only one who continued to seek answers was my primary care Dr. and he had me come in for more blood work....EXCUSE ME, HOW COULD THERE BE MORE??? I literally had a BIBLE SIZE NOTEBOOK of tests of any kind you can imagine and more doctors than any person should have but ok I'll come in to do more work. He told me at that point after receiving the results that he "thought" I might have Lupus and referred me to a Rheumatologist. Ok, so we see her for less than a year and she put me on Prednisone and other medication to control the pain and inflamation but after gaining 40 lbs on the prednisone and honestly NOT seeing any real change of my symptoms we decided to just ask the Lord what He would have for us to do. We heard Him directing us to a Naturopath Chiropractor that we had worked with over the years and decided that I would stop taking the Prednisone and stop seeing the Rheumatologist completely and go ONLY to our precious Little Dr. T. (He is the chiropractor) Well, Dr T. immediately changed my diet, put me on a cleanse and I began to see & feel immediate changes within my body. The changes in diet have proven to be very effective but he also explains that certain things in our body are also due to our emotions, or toxins. (hello hair products, color, spray, you name it I was using, or applying it) One of the hardest things for me has been that He says that I need to wear SHOES WITH INSERTS in them to give me the extra support. This means NO FLIP FLOPS! OK, well this in fine in winter but HELLO-----not in the spring/summer! :(

I am really seeing how much I ~ dare I say it....REBEL! When we feel better we tend to not always finish out the antibiotic, or to continue doing what we know is good for us etc. When I feel better I even will go off of my diet until woops I literally feel the inflammation inside my body! Then how quickly the Lord in His grace AGAIN reminds me to OBEY!!! But the other day I went to Dr T. (thank goodness I am only going every other week now) and He pulled my flip flops off and said "Now, Loren aren't you suppose to wear SHOES all the time?" Why yes, Dr T. I am but you know it's spring and I LOVE MY FLIPFLOPS! Well, he says How do you feel when you where them all the time? HMMMM, If I am honest, not really that good. So I leave there and head to Sams to get my 5 cases of water for the week and the Lord clearly speaks to me.....(why at the store, or Sams is it that we can hear Him so clearly I'll never know) Loren, "To obey is better than sacrifice" I am sorry Father I know you want what is best for me and I am not obeying you forgive me for wanting to look cute and wear flipflops! To show off my pedicured feet. To not look or feel like a DWEEB in the tennis shoes with socks and capris UGH! I hate it Lord but I AM SORRY!
I know my daughter I know! Again His Love and Forgiveness washes all over me. Father,.... ? Yes.... Please show me where else I am rebelling....Til the ground Lord and make me like YOU, renew in me a steadfast Spirit, an undivided Heart! Help me to Obey. "I am with you ALWAYS" "MY STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS."
Thankyou Abba, Thankyou.


1 comments:

N.

So what color of flip flops are you wearing today??? Hee .. Hee .. I just couldn't resist. (BTW .. mine are tan with cute little bronze jewels on them.)

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