This is definately not my typical SS post because I had myself a pity party, and I DO NOT LIKE pity parties! Why? because it is the UGLY FLESH in me trying to overrule the Spirit.
My 2nd flight was cancelled last night so I would not be joining my DH in Florida as we had planned nor would I be seeing my stepmom during the week while DH attended business meetings.
I was most upset about not having the alone time with him. We desperately needed it. This past year has been one loss after another. We celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary having lost his mother days before we were to go on a trip to a wonderful bed and breakfast and so that trip was cancelled and we had a house full of family here after her funeral. Within a few days of saying goodbye to her, the kids and I were on the road to Florida having received the diagnosis of Lung Cancer in my dad. As most of you know I spent most of the summer there apart from my DH and most of December as well. I still can't believe that we lost Daddy in such a short amount of time.
Now that things have calmed just a bit this trip came about and Brians job requested the spouses attend the weekend portion of the trip and were providing an airline ticket and hotel. Since I had been gone so much we had a family meeting and the kids were completely on board and supported me going and actually encouraged us being "away" together. On Wednesday morning (before he left for the airport) Brian and I came together and called upon the Lord surrendering this trip to HIM knowing the impending storm and possibility that I could not make it. After our prayer time we looked into each others eyes and just hugged for the longest time. It was a precious moment.
So if I surrendered this then why did I continue to press through when the doors were clearly closing? (flight cancelled, power went out) because my flesh didn't want to accept the truth? obey? I was being selfish!
As I woke this morning and saw the beautiful snow and sat in quiet I repented for all of the selfishness and trying to make things happen. I cried to my FATHER for various things and you know what....HE met me, HE comforted me, HE forgave me and in HIS way HE gave me hope and strength. HE gave me HIS Word and spoke volumes. HE led me to Isaiah 26... A song of Praise. Words like TRUST, PEACE, MIND STEADFAST ON THE FATHER!
I had allowed myself to have a pity party ~ to let my mind manipulate ways to get what I want ~ but the Lord in HIS infinite grace and mercy covered me with HIS Wings ( a blanket of snow) and waited until I cried out to HIM and brought me comfort and forgiveness. I layed down my thoughts and made them obey HIM and now as I go throughout this week I will keep my mind steadfast on HIM and because of this I will have perfect PEACE....HIS Word tells me so!
Thank you Father for your Love. For your Word. For meeting us even when we are pitiful and loving us despite ourselves.