Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Going to the Throne with confidence

Prayers. That beautiful word and its meaning has changed soo very much for me these past few years. When Brian and I stepped out of the traditional church and began going to a home church prayer at the point in my life was something we may do on occasion, for ourselves, or for others or even going to the altar to be "prayed for" At times when we were a part of a street ministry we would pray over others and God would give us downloads for those individuals and it blessed me as much as it gave hope and encouragement to them.
But when we got into our house church setting everything changed ....for me. It was so very intimate, quiet at times so that everyone knew what was being prayed and I went from a "Prayer warrior" to basically a silent pray-er....Why? FEAR. would I pray right? would I hear from God? and pray His will and NOT MINE? I am a very emotional and open person and usually people are drawn to tell me personal things. Over this past year God has done some amazing teaching in my Spirit and my heart. My desire (which he gives us the desires of our heart) truly was to pray His will and not what I thought they needed bc of the personal things I knew for people so FOR ME this meant....being still, and listening. It has been almost 1 year since I have been at home "not working" I must be honest and say at first it KILLED me to be away from my friends, clients but God has filled that whole with so much love that He has for me teaching me who I am in him, what my new ministry looks like and a new level of trust for each new season we walk through with Him holding our hands. I have learned that truly I can dialogue with the Lord every minute of every day because He is here with me wherever I go. Sometimes, I just sit with my checklist of whys?? sometimes I mourn over the marriages that have been broken and the addictions that people fall prey too. Lord, why are so many afraid to walk through the fire? To persevere as your Word tell us too. To understand that You love us soo much and want those wounds healed but in order to be healed they must bring it out into the light, some must confess, some must repent....Lord knows I did! We all struggle but when we humble ourselves and PRAY, God says he will heal our land. That can mean....our lives, our homes, our marriages and our childrens marriages. Its endless because Gods love for us and the work only He can do for us is above anything we can ask or imagine.
The Lord longs to have intimacy with us and for us to be transparent with one another. Only He knows and searches our hearts. He hears us even before we ask, think, or cry out....He is with us and longs to teach, to listen, to discipline, to help us out of the miry clay and set us on solid ground. He truly is a Father who adores each and every one of us.